Did you hear about the time the Prophet ﷺ refused to make dua for this sahabi?
One of the youth among the Sahaba was in battle, where he had an enemy soldier cornered, and in a moment of desperation, his adversary said, “Ashhadu al-la ilaha illa Allah.”
But in the heat of the moment, the companion ignored his opponent and struck him down.
When news of this incident reached the Prophet, he ﷺ was furious, and ordered for that sahabi to be brought forward. The companion tried to plead his case, saying that the man was not sincere and simply said the shahada to save himself. “O Messenger of Allah, he only said it out of fear of the sword and death!”
The Prophet ﷺ responded, “What will you do when ‘La ilaha illa Allah’ is brought before you on the day of judgment?” The Sahabi was struck with such worry and guilt he pleaded: “O Messenger of Allah! Beg forgiveness for me.” [Riyadh as Salihin]
But he ﷺ simply kept repeating the same question, again and again. In one narration of the same incident, the man remarked:
“The Prophet ﷺ kept on repeating that statement till I wished I had not been a Muslim before that day.”
[Sahih al Bukhari]
Now, from this story, you might think the Prophet ﷺ must have hated this young man after this incident, but that could not be further from the truth.
This young man was none other than Usama bin Zayd (R.A). He was the son of Zayd ibn Haritha, the foster son of our Messenger ﷺ, and Umm Aiman, the woman who our Prophet referred to as his mother after his mother.
He was described by the companions as “the beloved of the Messenger ﷺ, son of the beloved of the Messenger ﷺ.”
The Prophet ﷺ loved Usama like one of his own grandchildren, and the fact that he rebuked him so sternly in this incident shows that.
It shows that he ﷺ held Usama to a higher standard and expected more from him, and so it was a lesson for his beloved young companion to learn from.
In fact, we find not long thereafter, when the Prophet ﷺ was close to passing away, one of his last orders was to appoint Usama (R.A) [then around 17 years old] as the commander of the army that would battle the Romans. What a tremendous honor to be trusted by Allah’s Messenger with such a great responsibility at such a young age!
Usama bin Zayd paid heed to the lessons of his mentor ﷺ, he understood tough love, and this memory lived with him for the rest of his life.
Years later, when the fitnah (civil strife) broke out between ‘Ali and Mu‘awiyah (R.A), ‘Ali sought the support of Usama ibn Zayd and sent for him to fight alongside him against those whom ‘Ali considered rebels against the rightful authority.
Usama declined, despite his love for ‘Ali, and sent a message to him excusing himself saying, “If you were between the jaws of a lion, I would love to enter with you, but this is a matter I cannot be involved in.” He remained at home throughout this conflict, and when some people came to discuss his stance, he told them, “I will never fight anyone who says ‘La ilaha illa Allah.’”
Part of navigating relationships intelligently is knowing how to sincerely communicate the truth with our loved ones, whether our friends or our children, but even more so, to have the humility to receive love.
Many of us today are so afraid of negativity that we surround ourselves with “yes people,” who never advise us and who vindicate our actions.
But we all need sincere, tough love from time to time, a love that translates to concern about your afterlife. So cherish those friends and family members who can be honest with you, who can be stern but endearing, and try to implement this sunnah in your relationships when it’s needed.
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