This is the second in a brand new short series called “Righteous Romances”, exploring love stories from the Sahaba (R.A). We hope you find it beneficial! In case you missed part 1, you can read it here
Have you ever felt the pain of unrequited love?
When affection only goes one way, and never the other.
It can sting, but there are lessons in it for those who are mindful.
There’s a short but powerful story from the Sahaba that illustrates exactly this, and it starts with a slave woman named Barira (R.A), who bargained for her freedom from her master.
She was given the opportunity for mukataba, a negotiation where slaves can emancipate themselves for a given price over a certain period of time.
For Barira, that price was 9 silver coins, and with the help of our mother A’isha (R.A), and a lot of back and forth, she was eventually freed.
On top of that, she was granted the wala’, guardianship, of A’isha, and so the two became very close.
Now, in her years of enslavement, Barira wasn’t alone. She had a husband named Mugith, and he was madly in love with her. The kind of love you only hear about in old Arab poetry.
The problem was, those feelings were not mutual, and so as soon as she was freed, Barira asked for a divorce, as is the right of a freed slave if their spouse is still not emancipated.
This shattered Mugith’s heart, so much so that it became known throughout the town, but he was determined to not let things end.
So, over the course of her 3 month ‘iddah, Mugith could be seen in the streets behind Barira, weeping, pleading to her to take him back.
This even caught the attention of the Prophet ﷺ himself, as he was sitting with his uncle al-Abbas (R.A) he remarked:
“O `Abbas ! are you not astonished at the love of Mughith for Barira and the hatred of Barira for Mughith?”
[Sahih al Bukhari]
Out of compassion and sympathy for Mugith, the Prophet ﷺ went to Barira in the hopes of reconciling between the two.
When he ﷺ asked her to reconsider the annulment and take Mugith back, Barira asked:
“O Messenger of Allah, is this a command?”
The Prophet ﷺ said, “No, rather I am only interceding on his behalf.” To which Barira answered, “I have no need of him.”
So the marriage was annulled, and the two eventually married elsewhere.
Now, many might read this story as a tragedy, and for Mugith, maybe it was for a time.
But for Barira it wasn’t.
The truth is that marriage is not solely about love, for some it’s a matter of practicality, and for many in those times, it was a means for survival and protection.
This story teaches us that reciprocated love is not guaranteed, even in marriage, and that is a test many may face in life.
At the same time, this story demonstrates that divorce is not a failure, despite the stigma around it, sometimes it can be a blessing, and even a necessity.
It also shows us the importance of mediation and reconciling between couples when you know their marriage is on shaky ground, but also acknowledging that sometimes marriage is simply not meant to be.
May Allah be pleased with both Barira and Mugith, and grant all those longing for love and stability happy and fulfilling marriages.
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